Windowsill Glimpses
by wishes of falling stars
Summary: 100 glimpses of life as they know it. Collection of Various Bleach Drabbles 6. My Fair Lady: Urahara is a perfect gentleman, and Yoiruichi is his fair lady
1. Wakame Taishi

A/N: Yay! I'm starting my very first drabble collection- I'm so excited! Drabbles are fun and easier for me to write, plus I think that writing drabbles overall helps improve my writing. This will be a miscellaneous group of drabbles- as long as they have to do with Bleach and its characters. There are no restrictions on characters, pairings, situations, AU- as long as it's 1,000 words or less and Bleach-y, I'll put it in. So basically, this is like creativity exercise for me :) The goal is 100 drabbles, hopefully I'll make it! I am open to requests as well.

Here's Numero Uno!

Title: Wakame Taishi (The Seaweed Ambassador)  
Length: 468  
Characters: Ichigo, Rukia, Byakuya  
Warnings: Language and slight violence?  
Summary: On a random outing in the Kuchiki Manor with Rukia, Ichigo discovers the Seaweed Ambassador...

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"What the hell is that?" Ichigo pointed to a drawing that happened to catch his eye as he was walking down one of the many hallways of Kuchiki Mannor.

"It's the Seaweed Ambassador," replied Rukia who was increasingly regretting her decision to show him the art gallery.

"The seaweed ambassador? What kind of stupid name is that? It looks like some 5 year old kid drew a green cloud with legs and realized it sucked so badly, he gave up and drew it a face."

"It does not! The Seaweed Ambassador looks exactly the way it's supposed to—as an adorable piece of kelp that serves as the liaison between the land and the sea!"

"…an adorable piece of kelp?"

"Shut up"

Ichigo sighed and shrugged his shoulders, in a clear I-give-up gesture. "Well, I can't expect anything more from you—you're the absolute worst artist I know, even Kon can draw better than you can and he only has three fingers or claw—"

Rukia convieniently stops the flow of words by punching Ichigo in the gut. Hard.

Ichigo curses. "Damnit Rukia, why'd you hit me so hard?"

She sniffs and sticks her nose in the air, the perfect imitation of the snooty, stuck up judges in the Central 46. "It's not my fault if a certain stupid strawberry has no artistic sense whatsoever and can't recognize true art."

"You call bunnies and bears true art?"

She takes great satisfaction in taking the opportunity to jam her elbow into his side.

"OW! Geez Rukia, I know that you suck at drawing—

POW! His arm!

"—but even for you this is really sad—"

POW! His chest!

"Stop hitting me, you crazy bitch!"

POW! His stomach!

"Damn midget…" he muttered under his breath as he doubled over and wheezed for air.

"What was that?" Her eyes flash dangerously.

"Nothing"

He points an accusatory finger back at the drawing, as if he was identifying a fleeing culprit at the scene of a crime.

"But just look at that thing! Actually, I don't want to—What the hell is it again?— Kung-fu Lettuce?"

"It's the Seaweed Ambassador!"

"Whatever, all I know is that it's got to be the stupidest and weirdest thing you've ever drawn, and since we're talking about you and your artistic talent, or lack of it, that says a whole lot."

"You baka, I didn't draw that!"

A strange mix of confusion and horror dawned on his face. "B-But who else draws as crappy as you do?"

He suddenly finds himself face to face with a scowling Kuchiki Byakuya.

_Oh shit, he doesn't look happy…._

"Well, Kurosaki Ichigo, Do you have anything else to say about my artistic skills?"

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**fin**

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Make Byakuya feel better about his art! Show your support for the seaweed ambassador! Leave a review!


	2. Whisper

Title: Whisper  
Characters: Rangiku, mentions of Gin  
Pairing: um..none really, RanxGin if you squint  
Warnings: Slightly depressing  
A/N: Came to me in the middle of the night. I can never seem to write these two happy with each other; I guess I'm just a sucker for those tragic, bittersweet romances. Then again, this really isn't a romance, but not having all that sappy love stuff makes it more realistic, imo.  
Summary: Rangiku can hear Gin whispering int he wind

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"Ran-chan! I'm back"

Her ears prickle with unexpected noise, and the minute she hears her name, she knows exactly who it is _(how could she forget?)_

She leaps and whirls around her long fiery hair, eyes alight with excitement and joy, and he's smiling back at her, arms already moving to envelop her in a hug, to play with her hair, bring out a little gift in his narrow fingers, tickle her sides until she shrieks with laughter –his fingers run up and down her sides like pale little spiders, and now she's laughing so hard her sides hurt, _she can't breathe! _There is her and there is Gin, they are together, and everything is wonderful-

She never wants him to let go.

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Years later, she walks down the same dirt road by the same old shack they used to live in, and if she stays very still and listens very closely, she can hear Gin whispering with the wind.

"_Ran-chan! I'm back!"_

She turns around.

Nobody's there.

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**Fin**


	3. Pet

Title: Pet  
Characters: Gin, Kira  
Parings: None  
Warnings: None  
Summary: Gin calls for Kira  
A/N: This one's another short one (it's only 124 words), but since I didn't update it yesterday, expect another drabble to be on here later on in the day. This just randomly came to me, and I decided to write it. Somehow, I could see this happening if Gin got bored. Still, I don't like it that much anyways, but who knows, hopefully some of you lovely readers will! Thanks to DarkSandHanyou28, GhibliGirl91, and Aosugiru Sora for reviewing- your reviews are soooooo greatly appreciated!

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"I---ZU---RUUUUUUU!!!!!"

Gin's sing-song voice echoed down the corridors of the 3rd division.

"COME HEEEE-RE~"

In a matter of seconds, he sees the pale blond head of his lieutenant flash step into his office, lower into a bow, and dutifully look up, dull, blue eyes carefully fixated on his taichou, on him. Oh, his Kira was such a cute lil' lieutenant, way cuter than Aizen-sama's little pet, no matter how much Aizen-sama tried to argue with him otherwise.

"What would you have me do, Ichimaru-taichou?"

His smile stretched out as he patted Kira on the head. Kira tried hard not to flinch

"Nothing. I just wanted t' see how long it'd take ya to run down here t' see lil' ol' me,"

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**fin**

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A/N: Review?


	4. Mascot

Title: Mascot  
Characters: Iba, Kira, Hisagi, Ukitake, Hanatarou, Renji, and a special guest  
Pairings: None  
Warnings: I am so very, very sorry...The crack! It burns!  
Summary: To get more members, the Shinigami's Men's Association gets a mascot  
A/N: Please don't hurt me on this one! I wrote this without knowledge of all the members of the Shiningami's Men's Association, so some (like Omaeda) are missing, but some are added (like Hanatarou) Let's just say that today was an All You Could Eat at Seireitei's most popular restaurant, and Hanatarou joined the club to gain some self esteem- there, problem solved.

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"Men," Tetuzamon Iba turned around to face each of the sunglassed faces that stared at him from around the table. Kira. Hisagi. Ukitake-taichou. Hanatarou. Renji "We are here today, because we **are** men, true men, members of the Shinigami Men's Association."

Iba remained unfazed as Hisagi gave a whoop of approval. "And yet, I see so few faces staring back at me, so few faces in this great organization of men. Surely there are many, tens, hundreds, more true men in the ranks of the Shinigami? But why, then, aren't they joining us by the dozens?"

"Because our outfits all look like they come from cheap mafia movies?" asked Kira.

NO!

"Because we have no money?" Hisagi put out.

NO!

"A-Ano, maybe it is because no-one really knows about us?" Hanatarou timidly spoke.

NO!

"Perhaps it is because we meet by the men's bathroom?" Ukitake thought out loud, "The gas buildup there is quite atrocious."

…Maybe…but NO!

Renji, who had been on the losing end of a bet with Kira, and as punishment, forced to attend a meeting, was currently looking at all of them, highly unimpressed.

"Gee, I don't know…maybe it's because none of you are manly…except for Ukitake-taichou"

"Really?" Hisagi asked with a smirk. "So what are you doing here then?"

"I-It's not like that!! I lost a bet with Kira, okay? I was forced to come here and dress up in this stupid outfit today."

"Uh-huh, sure Renji, keep telling yourself that"

"Shut up"

"HELL NO ABARAI!!!!!" Iba burst out, "What we are missing, the one single element that is blocking the way for many male shinigami to come and join us is…" Iba paused and posed for dramatic tension

"…a mascot!"

"…A mascot?..."

"Yes!" Iba pumped a fist into the air. "A mascot to advertise the traits and qualities that we, members of the Shinigami Men's Association and true men have, they'll be so taken in by the mascot, they'll be begging to join us in spades!"

"…Are you serious?..." Renji demanded.

"''Course I am," Iba said briskly. "Don't worry I thought it all out. Our mascot will be a symbol of everything that the Shinigami's Mens Association stands for: power, endurance, strength, loyalty, testosterone, and pure out manliness. Once they understand the sheer might and coolness our mascot, therefore, we contain, they'll want to be a part of us to share in our testosterone fueled glory—and soon, we shall finally collect enough members to move out of the men's bathroom!"

"Sorry, I'm still not buying this…" Kira said apologetically.

A steely glint appeared in Iba's ey-uh sunglasses. "Really? What if I told you that the real reasons Hollows wear masks was because they can't look him in the eyes without spontaneously combusting?"

"Ooooohhhhhh…."

"And what if I told you that he could beat all 13 captains at the same time with just one move of his bankai, the roundhouse kick?"

"Even Old Man Yama?," Ukitake asked in awe.

Iba nodded. "Even the soutaichou."

"And what if I told you that he never died because the gates of hell shut in fright whenever he shows up?"

Th-That's Insane" Hisagi stuttered.

"And what if I told you that our mascot was the cousin of Kenpachi Zaraki, twice removed, 'cause if both of them ever got together, their amount of reiastu would blow up the earth?

Hanataro let out an eep and hurriedly covered his mouth.

"And what if I told you that he can divide by zero?

"No fucking way" Renji blurted out.

Hisagi begged. "Come on Iba, show us our mascot already!"

_Cue dramatic lighting and drumroll, please!_

"The moment you've all been waiting, our mascot—the pinnacle of what it means to truly be a man, the man I had the pleasure of seeing in the real world," He ripped off the white sheet that had been covering a large sign in the front of the room,

Kira averted his eyes.

Hisagi gasped.

Ukitake started to cough.

Renji fell out of his chair.

Hanatarou fainted.

"Behold, our new mascot!" Iba pointed to the picture of the bearded man, "Chuck Norris!"

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**fin**

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As always, please review!


	5. Blindsight

Title: Blindsight  
Characters: Tousen  
Pairings: None  
Warnings: **SPOILER!!!!!!IF YOU HAVE NOT YET READ BLEACH CHAPTER 386 THIS IS A SPOILER!!!!!! **Other than that, nothing  
Summary: Tousen can see  
A/N: Short and simple, about Tousen, who I cannot help but pity. He claims he is on the true path to justice, following Aizen, who wants to kill thousands of people and take over all of Soul Society, become God and rule the world. Ironic? Hell Yes. I really don't understand him at all, even reading the manga, so this is iffy at best. Oh well, hopefully you/whoever is reading this will enjoy it.

Just in case you missed the big **bolded** CAPITAL LETTERS the following story contains: Major Spoilers for Bleach Chapter 386. If you have not read it, please exit at this time and quietly proceed to the nearest back button, where you will be taken to a place full of presumably spoiler-free fics. Thank you and have a great flight!

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"Suzumushi Hyakushiki, Grillar Grillo" He cries out, and he turns dark.

He cannot feel anything anymore, not even his own body, just the inky-black darkness that seems to seep through around, under, above, below, within him. Then, just as quickly as the darkness came, it dissappeared, or rather, he felt it dissappear, because he could feel himself, his body again.

He opens his eyes.

It is not dark.

He can see.

"_I can see…"_

Everything is oh so bright, but oh so wonderful that he can't bear to turn his eyes away. Colors and light assail his senses and overload his brain, and it is the most wonerful sensation in the world. His eyes drink in everything they can—the sun, the sky, the buildings, Aizen-sama, shinigami, red, blue yellow, black, white, tan, brown-green. Komammura…even uglier and more grotesque than he expected…splashed with blood, so beautifully vibrant against the dull brown. And pushed to the back of his mind, old memories grow darker. _So this is the world…_

"I can see… I can see, Komammura…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I CAN SEE! I CAN SEE! I CAN SEE! I CAN SEE!"

He has never been so blind.

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**fin**

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Tell Me I don't suck- Leave a review!


	6. My Fair Lady

Title: My Fair Lady  
Characters: Yoiruichi, Urahara  
Pairings: Slight YoruichixUrahara, but you'l have to squint or stretch to see it  
Warnings: very slight swearing and suggestiveness (really, none)  
Summary: Urahara is a perfect gentleman, and Yoiruichi is his fair lady

A/N: They just started talking in my head, so I wrote it down. I love these two, so expect more of them in drabbles soon to come! Thank you once again, Aosugiru Sora and GhibliGirl91 for telling me I don't suck and leaving me reviews. You guys are awesome! And I don't want to sound like I'm begging (I am...I totally am...) but if you've been reading my set of drabbles so far...welll, I'd kind of like a review, just to know, "Hey, this collection of drabbles isn't entirely useless", or if you do think it sucks, tell me how I can improve. Just saying it again, I also take requests!

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"You know," Yoiruichi paused and smirked, losing no time to wheedle Kisuske after she had properly eaten. "I always wondered, what happened to you?"

He quizzically raised his eyebrow. "As per usual, I have no idea what you're talking about, Yoiruichi-san"

"Kisuke, I hate to admit this, but you used to be _cool. _The Captain of the 12th Division, inventor of whatever great invention you were building at that time, personal friend of me-"

"—Oh, Yoiruchi-san, surely you aren't saying that we aren't friends now?

"Haha, very funny Kisuke," She purred

"Now, as I was saying, you actually used to be a decent guy. You would always hold the doors for women, train with the members of your division, release creepy prisoners from jail, lose purposely to your loud little lieutenant to make her feel good about herself, you'd always listen to them about their little problems—Damnit, Kisuke, you were such a gentleman!"

She critically pointed at each part of his body with her chopsticks as she was talking. "Now look at you—crazy raccoon eyes, hideous striped robe thing, sandals that were probably in style in the Japanese Feudal Era, old man cane, stupid striped hat—"

Urahara started petting his hat and whispering comfortingly to it. "_It's ok, Hatty—Yoiruichi-san doesn't have any idea what she's saying, does she_?"

"—and you've gone batshit insane, talking to your hat, singing 80's love songs when no one's looking—_Yes, I saw you_—spending days locked up in your little mad scientist's lab, making who knows what, scheming up ridiculously complicated plots in that twisted little head of yours, prank-calling Ichigo and his friends when you're bored—you're absolutely insane!"

"…But I guess you were always that way back then, too…" she grudgingly conceded as she smiled down at her empty rice bowl.

Urahara, feigning deep hurt, dramatically put his hand to his chest. "Why, Yoiruichi-san, I had no idea that you were so impressed with me back then. Of course, I shall do whatever the fair lady insists."

He got up, opened the nearest door with a flourish, and bowed low on one knee, the perfect imitation of a chauffeur serving his lady. "Shall I start by opening this door so the fair lady may pass?"

Yoiruichi smirked as she walked by his prostrate form. _Yeah, she could get used to this._

The smile abruptly vanished from her face.

"…Kisuke!…." She called out.

"Yes, my fair lady?"

"…This door leads to your bedroom…"

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"…Really?! Why, I had no idea!"

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**Fin**

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A/N: Oh, I love Urahara :)


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